It was my most peaceful moment in months. I let down my guard a little more today. It's been sky high as I have been actively trying to avoid my narcissist for two and a half months. I feel like I've used both hands trying to hold up a lead-lined protective sheet around me. I guess I started putting it up since just before I moved out of my narcissist's place on March 14, 2015 until today, July 7, 2015.
As flabby as my arms are, I'd think they'd be toned by now as often as I've lifted up that damn guard!
I dropped my guard. I was weak to start with. I mean, he was a habit- and I liked him.
My guard slipped. I was caught off guard because I was focusing on other things until he would honor that 'NO CONTACT" order I issued in late May. Of course he broke that the VERY NEXT DAY.
Here's that story: You see, daily I would go outside on my break to go for a drive- (I used to drive past his house twice during the hour without stopping. It was good practice to keep on driving). And then May 2, 2015 I quit driving past his house-the day of the cell phone/coffee stain fiasco.
Because he wouldn't leave me alone, despite my requests- On May 20, 2015 I issued a NO CONTACT with hometown police. On May 21st I went out for my daily drive at about 1:40 PM to find this Rubber Cement Glued to my WINDSHIELD.
That was the day I knew he wasn't finished with me yet. My cat came up missing the next day.
She was an outside cat. She adopted me. When I lived with a good friend, she showed up one Thanksgiving & never left, until May 23, that is.
So, yeah, I've been on high alert.
But today I allowed myself to let my guard down because (and this is the good part), I have not heard from my narcissist in seven days! But don't think I'm not constantly aware of my surroundings. I still lock the doors & pull the curtains constantly.
